Restaurant Review: The Happy Pig - 200 S Alcaniz St, Pensacola, FL 32502

The Happy Pig made me very ANGRY!!! We were traveling through Pensacola and got a craving for BBQ. We did a quick google search and saw that this restaurant had a very high rating. I will be very amazed if this review makes it online because it seems as though this restaurant uses some type of a scrubber company to delete bad ratings from their reviews. The first red flag came to me when we rolled up on this establishment in a posh neighborhood setting. No great BBQ establishment in the history of the world has ever had this scenario. The second red flag was the lack of BBQ smell both outside and INSIDE the restaurant. At this point, I pointed out to my wife that this might not be a good idea. But, we were hungry they had a 4.7/5.0 rating, so we decided to continue. The third red flag wasn't that big of a deal... the diet coke that I ordered wasn't any good, so I switched it with a tea (no biggie). However, the fourth red flag was absolutely unacceptable for any restaurant, BBQ or not. I ordered a 2-meat combo platter for $16.99 and chose ribs and ham as my two items. With that order, you'd expect at least one of two things: 1) Large Portions, or 2) amazingly delicious smaller quantities (or maybe both). We got neither. The rib (not ribs, BTW) was room temperature and the ham was cold. COLD. Oh, and let me tell you a little more about the ham. When you order a $16.99, 2-meat BBQ combo plate from a 4.7-starred restaurant, you'd expect your ham to be pretty amazing, correct? I imagined nothing less than something you'd get from Heavenly Ham, or at the VERY least a well prepared ham steak. Do you know what I got?! I got three rectangle pieces of sandwich meat. Let me repeat that. I WAS GIVEN, AS MY PORTION OF HIGH-QUALITY MEAT, FROM THIS 4.7-STARRED ESTABLISHMENT, LOW-GRADE SANDWICH SLICES OF HAM. And they didn't even step up to the High-quality ham slices. It was that government-issue grade ham that you save 60% on at Walmart because no one else is stupid enough to purchase it. Yeah, that crap! This place should not have been opened if they were going to serve the type of food they served. And if this is their standard, then they should be shut down immediately. And if the citizens of Pensacola think that this is delicious BBQ, they all need to have their heads checked. WORST. BBQ. EVER!!!

The "Man Stuff" Club

You know what would be an awesome organization for men, young and old?  An organization that puts the proverbial hair back on the waxed chest of today's effeminate man.

We need a "Man Stuff" Club!  Blame it on what you will, but it is obvious that the traditional roles that men play in the world have greatly changed over the past few decades.  We are no longer the hunter and gatherer types... we are cubicle junkies, paper pushers, and stay-at-home dads.  Many of us, including myself, didn't grow up with a dominant male figure in our lives.  As a result, we have to call an electrician to come over every time we need a light bulb changed.  This is ridiculous!

Men need to do manly stuff like chop down a bunch of trees and build a cottage.  Men need to learn to hunt an animal, skin it, and cook it for their families.  Men need to know how to fix things around the house, how to rebuild a car engine, and how to keep their lawns in shape.  Men need to start being manly, again.

Cool site:
http://www.themanlythings.com

Impact of DVR use on Television Advertising

Increased use of DVR will cut into television advertising time as much as our ability to throw away mailbox junk mail cuts into direct mail advertising… nominally!  The amount of advertising dollars a company decides to spend, and how it spends them, is strictly up to its board of directors.  If dwindling advertising efficiency is a direct result of the market’s increased DVR use, then the board of directors will flow those advertising dollars into other advertising means, such as: direct mail, billboards, airplane banners, etc. 

Ted Harbert may be displeased with the impending direction that advertising’s “joint investment in programming” is heading, but the consumer has been displeased with the alternative direction for decades.   Yes, we understand that in order for programming entities to make a profit and to stay on the air, they must rely on advertising income and succumb to the consumer’s burden of having their programs interrupted by advertising.  However, as a result of that advertising, consumers have been brainwashed into buying things they don’t really need.  Additionally, behavior and mannerisms have been changed to favor advertising companies’ bottom line. 

Technology redefines not only the advertising companies, but also the world in general.  Think of how much our world has changed since the advent of the internet; favoring advertising companies, if anything.  Even think as far back as the wheel: we went from dragging rocks, slumped over as Neanderthals to using wheeled apparatuses and walking upright. (don’t quote me on that)  The bottom line is that consumers welcome the demise of television advertising.  No longer will we have to suffer through obnoxiously loud commercials that interrupt our television programming.  The decision should be left in the board of directors’ hands in figuring out where to re-allocate those advertising dollars in order to balance the loss of income from the increased use of the DVR.

Friends and Family... HA!!

They say you don't know who your friends and family are until you need them. 

For nearly a year before my wedding, Jacqui and I began the invitation process to these, so called, family and friends.  We called, texted, emailed, Facebooked and even sent out over 125 personally-customized wedding invitations through the mail. 

Jacqui and I live in Albuquerque, NM and all of my family and friends live in Mobile, AL where I grew up.  So, in order to be convenient to THEM, we went through the tedious process of planning a wedding there in my hometown... 1300 miles away!

I've longed believed that you get out of a marriage what you put into the wedding.  And instead of eloping and having small reception, I wanted to have a formal wedding to share with everyone in order to promote a life-long, happy marriage together. 

In order to save money on the wedding, Jacqui and her friend, Brihanna, began custom-designing all of the wedding decorations and mementos.  They spent well over 200 hours preparing everything, only to load it into my small Jeep Compass and drive all the way to Mobile, AL with it stuffed alongside luggage and three bodies.  Come wedding day, the bridesmaids woke up at 4am and started preparing the venue.  The venue basically only provided a building... EVERYTHING else was payed for and prepared by Jacqui and the bridesmaids.  They did an amazing job, though... everything looked perfect! 

While the ladies were prepping the venue, etc., my sole responsibility was to not look retarded.  So, the groomsmen and I spent the day at the hotel getting ready for the big event.   We were supposed to be at the venue at 3pm, but decided to take a few shots of Patron an roll in a few minutes (fashionably) late.  As we were pulling into the parking lot, my heart dropped; there were only 3 other cars at the venue. 

A few more people trickled in over the next 30 minutes, but by the time we started the ceremony, 85% of the seats were empty.  Hardly any of my friends and family showed up to our wedding; No phone calls, no texts, no emails, no Facebook messages, and no negative RSVPs in the mail. 

I kept a smile on my face, but I was dying inside.  How could everyone ditch me?  I mean, if the wedding was even 100 miles outside of town, I could understand not attending due to unforeseen circumstances.  But I brought the wedding to THEM!!  I sacrificed money that I could NOT afford to sacrifice in order to not be an inconvenience to them.  All I wanted was for my friends and family to be a part of our special day together.  It's as though my life event held the same weight as a used tissue... just thrown in the garbage. 

Jacqui's family probably has less money than my white trash family and they still managed to make sacrifices to be there.  Hell, her dad even sold his car to get funds to travel 1300 miles to Mobile.  And my "friends and family" couldn't go out of their way to drive 5 minutes... SERIOUSLY!!!???

Other than my groomsmen, two friends of mine showed up (thanks Shay, and Craig).  TWO!!!  How is that even conceivable!!??   Of living relatives, 2/3 grandparents, 3/4 uncles, 1/2 aunts, 2/3 brothers, and countless cousins, second-cousins, etc. decided that this wasn't important enough for them to attend.  I did get a call/text from two friends, Andre and Ryan, telling me they couldn't make it.  Cool.  I almost built a list of "friends and family" that are currently dead to me for not even giving me a heads up on not being there.  I got about twelve names deep and decided, fuck it! 

I'm tired of burning bridges when my panties get all in a wad.  The people that blew me off know that they hurt me.  It's a good thing, though... 'cause now I know who my TRUE family and friends are.  The people that I can count on through thick and thin.  For all of you that made a sacrifice to be at our wedding, we love you!  For all that couldn't make it and gave us a heads up, thank you!  For all the rest of you... well, I think this post says enough.